"If you're a bird, I'm a bird"

Sooooooo....tired...and.....bored.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 07:13:20 GMT

Right now I am so tired.....I really don't know how I'm going to make it till end of shift.....which is 7:30am....

and I'm bored.....thank god I bought in my Superman: TAS DVD to kill the time......

Unbelieveable.......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:32:16 GMT

So I get home after working the damn over night shift.....and the first thing I wanna do is take a shower....and to my surprise....there is NO hot water.....

Right.....then management expects you to pay $1200 rent.....wtf......all I know is that mom dukes better say something to them or I will.....this is ridiculous.....when we first moved in they gave her a form to fill out with things that needed to be fixed in the apartment.....and guess what....those things still have not been fixed....and yesterday they had the nerve to slide a invoice for $35 and change that is due.....wtf....what kind of apartment complex is this.....they better get there shyt together....or I am gonna rip someone in the front office a new one....I am so sick and tired of people thinking that they can take advantage of other people....

NO HOT WATER.....WTF....is that so much to ask for.....UGH.....

I better have hot water tomorrow morning....when I get home from work.....thats all I have to say!!!!!!!!!!

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:22:51 GMT

Happy Birthday to me............

Moved.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 03:53:43 GMT

Well....we are all moved in....my room is already done and organized....sorry but I can not live in disorder.....I am a natural Virgo....and I need order....especially in the bedroom.....anyways....mom dukes is still getting the rest of the house organized.....the apartment is smaller than I am used to....but its only for three months.....so I guess its not that bad.....right now I am at work....working the overnight shift.....I have been crazy busy since friday......moving....organizing my room...helping mom dukes and step pop....also some shopping late last night.....picked up some food and such.....then awoke early today and went back to the house and helped my sis move some stuff in.....then went to target to pick up some more stuff.....I love target.....they have everything I need in that store......anyways....

for those of you who are gamers....let me tell you a little story.....when organizing my room.....after I set up the DVD player....and my PS2...I notice that something was missing.......my memory card....I started to think that I would have to buy a new one and start all my games all over again....I have completed about 80% of Scarface.....in my 2nd season on Madden 08......90% done on GTA: San Andreas.....40% done on Superman Returns.....and my 3rd year on NCAA Football.....so since friday I have been upset that I couldn't find it.....and then yesterday I was setting up the computer.....and decided to go thru my repair and networking disc box....and guess what....there it was....and then all of a sudden I remember putting it in there just so I wouldn't lose it....maybe I was super tired.......at least I found it and I don't have to start these games all over again.....

ok.....its hour three of my first over night shift....and getting kinda tired.....but at least we have a coffee maker.....and I have a pepsi in the frig....so until tomorrow night......

Moving Day......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:45:21 GMT

So today is moving day.....eveything is packed and ready to be moved.....so right now I am work....and I hope everything is going well at the house....

So finally I found out today that I am no longer working 8:30 to 5....Monday thru Friday.....day training is over....and now I go into night training.....my schedule for the next 4-10 weeks....while in training......is 9pm-7:30am...Sunday thru Wednesday...then after I feel comfortable doing things on my own....I will be place on rotation like everyone else....a flex schedule.....which I don't mind because it is part of the job....and having three days off is kool......but I am a little bumed out...because now...I can't watch The 4400 on sundays....and Heroes on mondays....and sometimes football games on sundays during the day and the night game.....and monday night football.....

I have been known this for about a week....and have decided to invest in a DVR.....so now I am not so bumed out.....I can now record my shows...and football games for the matter.....and get to watch whenever I want.......I feel like a kid getting a new toy.....oh....wait....I am a big kid getting a new toy.....hehehe.....lol....

Have a great Weekend everyone.....holla back....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 19:16:03 GMT

Thanks to my pal pure_nell_alpha.....who told me that Boondocks Season 1 was on sale at target for $20....I can remove that from my list.

No more being......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 15:42:47 GMT

Ok, so I have decided that I will no longer write about politic's and religion.....I just feel that I need to move on.....speaking about things is not going to change anything....right now in this point in time....

So since I am going back to school next fall (hopefully this job works out and I am able to save$$$$) I will give my all to the subjects I plan on taking next fall......besides updates about how my studying is going.....I will update about my mediocre exsistance....lol....and other things in my life.....but nothing political or religious....

so with that being said I am happy now that I found this job.....I have been working my a** off.....and I hope that it pays off......my schedule is insane but it is something that will take time getting use to......I am moving on Friday......;) I plan on going to target to pick up a few things during my lunch.....and I finally bought Superman TAS Volume 1....which after I had purchased Justice League Seasons 1-2 and Justice League Unlimited Seasons 1-2, I just had to get Superman TAS Volumes 1-3......since I have volume 1 all I need is volumes 2 and 3.....

Also I have made a list of other DVD sets that I want to purchase (in time of course).....

Cartoons and TV Shows.....

Batman TAS Volumes 1-4
Batman Gotham Knights (which I think is not on DVD yet)
Batman Beyond Season 1-3
The Batman Seasons 1-4 (season 5 begins 9/22/07)
Avatar: The Last Airbender Seasons 1-2 (season 3 begins 9/21/07)
~~The Boondocks Season 1~~ (season 2 begins sometime this fall)
Superman: Doomsday (not out til 9/18/07)
The 4400 Seasons 1-4 (season 5 is on right now)
Heroes Season 1 (season 2 begins 9/24/07)

Movies....

Blades of Glory....(went to see in theater and laughed the whole way thru)
The Godfather Trilogy
Goodfellas
HP5 The Order of the Phoenix (when its released)
The Robert Rodriguez and Quinten Tarantino movies(came out this summer)
Pan's Labyrinth
The Shooter
and there are some other that I can't get them out right now...

wow I look at this list and it seems overwhelming but I will succeed.....lol.....I just like DC comics cartoons.....they are way better then anything I have seen from Marvel.....the only exception is X-men the cartoon that came on saturdays on fox.....to me this was the original X-men......which I have never seen on DVD...besides that DC comics comes out with better toons......Avatar: The Last Airbender is fairly new to tv....its on nick....and so far is the best original cartoon of late....besides The Batman.....now The Boondocks is for a mature audiences....and is the funniest adult toon I have seen so far.....I mean don't get me wrong Family Guy and American Dad are funny.....but Docks takes the cake....

The 4400 is an awesome show.....its similar to Heroes in that people have powers....but I have to say that the story is a little better explained simply because its further along.....Heroes is my favorite right now thou.....I can't wait to find out what happens to Hiro....we'll see on 9/24/07....;) and I am very excited about my birthday coming up.....its on 9/5 and I hope its an awesome day for me.....wish me luck

Well I guess that's all I have to share for right now.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 15:29:19 GMT

So this weekend was stressful and exhausting.....On Friday I had to leave work early because my jaw was hurting so bad that I started to think I had some kind of complication from the wisdom tooth extraction.....so I made an appointment so I left work at 2pm.....missing two hours on my check....which I am not going to like once I get it.....then come to find out.....the doc told me that everything looks fine....and that it is normal for your jaw and ear to hurt at times....its all part of the healing process....he also told me that the jaw bone takes about 6 months to heal and the gum about 2-3 weeks......geezz you could have told me that after I had the tooth pulled so I wouldn't get freaked out.

Then after the appointment I went home feeling relieved.....my mom was already home....and the conversation about my uncle came back up....at this point I feel like I am so done with this topic......but I talk to her about it because she has no other person beside me and my two sisters to talk to.....mainly its always me....I really dont mind....I mean I love my relationship with my mom....I can talk to her about basically anything.....back to the subject at hand.....

So we talked about the situation...and it seems it is getting worse...my mom now says that she thinks that he is using the needles again and not just sniffing it.....well I told her that sometimes she is too nice....and everytime I say things like that or when I say that I am so sick in tired of the situation....she gives me this look....and I get mad and tell her you know what I'm not going to say anything anymore.....to make matters worse.....we were suppose to be moving into the new house at the beginning of next month right in time for my birthday....now we ain't go nowhere....not at this moment anyway.....come to find out that the mortage company my step pop was working with to get this house dropped the ball somewhere and he got declined....because of this one account which was under collections but he was paying it via ACH draft.......then is was sold to another collection agency.....and instead of transfering all his information and continue to collect the money from his account.....someone their dropped the ball too.....and never entered his information...so now he and my mom....especially my mom are stressed in finding an apartment in the mean time.....now the house we live in now is my moms....and she thinking that this was going to go thru has rented it out to my middle sister and her family......now she is suppose to move in Aug 29th.....that is wednesday.....it is going to be insane for 9 people to be living in a 4 bedroom (2 rooms are mad small) 1 1/2 bath house.....ugh...I just hope with the search that I am gonna do soon and my mom's search we will be able to find something so we can move in asap......

Then on Saturday....I had to paint my room, which will be my nieces Gikaylee's room.....the room was painted a teal color...which I never in a million years thought that my mom would move but hey there is a first time for everything right.....well to make a long story short....I painted the whole room in less then 10 hours....I worked my a** off.....but it got done....so now the room is white.....it took 3 coats of paint to do the job......man was I tired.....so tired that I told everyone that I wasn't doing anything on sunday.....

by around 10 pm I settled to take a shower and get some rest....then I thought ok.....today still is technically my uncle's birthday.....so I asked him if I gave him twenty dollars would he wash my car......he told me sure what time are you getting up.....I told him not to sure.....jesus man did you not see me painting all day.....so he says ok....just give me the money and your keys......at first I was going to go out and get the money....and then I thought to myself.....what kind of shyt is that.....what do you think I'm stupid.....yeah I'll give you the $$$ and my car keys....and you'll go to the hot spot and cop your shyt.....so just to make sure I wasn't jumping the gun or being to anal....I woke my mom up and asked her....and she told me hell no......just take a shower and go to bed.....pretend you forgot......so that is what I did......

So then on sunday....I woke up mad early....like around 8am...mind you I didn't fall asleep til about like 1am......my body aching from all the painting I did......besides the aches and pains....I felt pretty good.....so he goes to wash my car.....I ate some breakfast....and take my time doing things......when he gets back.....he says all I have to do is the windows but I need a break.... no problem....all I wanted to do is pick up somethings at target...then to pet boys.....been needing brakes and windshield wipers....then to best buy to take advantage of our reward zone points.......so before I go to leave....I notice all these crumbs on the driver seat and passenger seat and on the floor.....now the car looks as if it wasnt vacuumed at all.....and to top it all off he left a baggie of pot on my dash...so I proceed with my errands and vaccum and finish cleaning the car myself....if it weren't for the fact that I was frekin tired as hell after painting all day then I would have washed the car myself.....that is something I do every week...at least once....before it starts to get cold......at this point its like why show my compassion to him when he doesn't even respect me.....that will be the last time I ask him for anything.....well until he gets clean and sober.....when he is clean man he does an awesome job.....but lately is seems like he doesn't give a flying monkeys butt about anything.....even the fact that my mom is still putting up with his shyt.....OMG....enough with this rant.....

In more pleasant news.....I purchased some cd's over the last two weekends....I have the new Velvet Revolver....Incubus.....White Strips.....and Smashing Pumkins.....I love Billy Corrigan.....(sp)....he is just amazing......I also picked up Timbaland's new CD....awesome stuff there....and Common....now he is what I call real HIP HOP....anyways this is like a super long post....so I will end with.....Please let me find I nice apartment complex where we can move to.....so he can work on this bogus situation and then move in to the house he want to buy......

The Weirdest thing.......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 14:17:30 GMT

Like in my previous journal entry....last friday I had my one of my wisdom teeth pulled.....now the doc prescribed vicodin for the pain....I am not a big pill person....and sometime I am scared to take medication simply because of the side effects.....now I had taken some over the last few nights to help the sharp pains because of the stitch in my mouth.....and everytime I have taken it makes it very hard for me to sleep....it feels as if my heart is racing......and when falling asleep...it feels like I stop breathing......now I took one last night....and something really strange happened.....

I fell into a weird sleep....and started to dream.....in the dream I awoke and everything seemed hazy as if the was smoke everywhere.....then I had a hard time breathing......with that being said....in the dream I got out of bed....still trying to catch my breath.....then fell straight down on my face.....I got up and started to yell for my mom.....opened the bedroom door still calling out for her....at this point I felt myself clutching my throat....I couldn't breathe......and again a fell straight down on my face....but this time.....a awoke for real.....and when I opened my eyes...in the shadow of the tiny green light of my cable box......I saw the outline of a young man with a hat running towards me in the bed......I closed my eyes tight and when I opened the again he was gone......

I know I sound crazy.....but this is all true....it happened to me last night......and at first I thought this damn drug.....then I thought what if I was seeing something that is going to happen or something that already has happen....I don't know......or maybe a was having a bad trip from the medication....anyways just thought I would share my experience from last night.....it was to frekin weird

Everything has changed.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:09:10 GMT

I know I haven't been on here for like forever.....but things had gotten kinda of outta control.....I lost my job......things at home were getting crazy.....but finally it seem like everything is falling into its place....

I have stopped chieffin......I have changed many things about myself......there are things that I want to accomplish before time runs out.....like going back to school.....paying off my debts.....etc....

I have found an awesome job in Dover, DE.....my stepfather is buying a house in Smyrna, DE......so now I will live closer to work......since March I have been on a road to self destruction......but I see a light at the end of the tunnel....I see what I was destined to do......the path is laid before me...and now I am ready......recently I had to have one of wisdom teeth pulled....and now I am in recovery......hahaha some the pain and discomfort has subsided......but sometimes it comes back....but a have advil for that....

besides that....nothing new in the "girlfriend" department......but hopefully that will change soon too.....anyways.....have to go......so until next time....

I hate Monday's

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 20:17:12 GMT

Well were do I begin.....

This weekend was a crazy one......lets begin at the beginning......my mom and step-dad left for the weekend, they went to Ocean City, MD......before they left she told me that my younger sister is not acting responsible so she was taking back the car she gave her.....which used be my mom's until she brought a new one......now grant my mom paid-off the car and it was in excellent condition....so much so that if she were to sell on the street she could for 9-10k.........ever since she gave to car to my younger sister, she has not taken care of the car, recently during the ice and snow storm we had she crashed the car......so for a week the car was in the shop gettting repaired.....now this Friday before she left......she picked up the car.....and told me to pick up at my younger sisters house after work on friday......well friday when I left work I wasnt feeling good.....my stomache was not right.....so I called my mom, and told her that I wasn't feeling good and that I would pick up the car saturday after I got out of work........now saturday I took my car to wash....and then I was to go to my younger sisters house and switch cars....I take the 2000 Toyota Camry Limited Edition....and she was gonna take my 2000 Honda Civic........now when I called her to let her know that I was washing the car and after that I would be stoping by......she told me she would call me right back........when she did she told me that she had gone out to philly on friday night and the car got towed......I flipped......my mom has done nothing but help her youngest child.....paying some of her bills when she is short on $$$$$......she has never been without a car......even since her senior year in high school....has helped her with her two kids.....etc......and now this.....lately she is acting very irresponsible.......the worst part is my mom is a good mom and has always been there for all of us......and now she has to deal with yet again another mistake her child has made......I told my mom that she really needs to cut her off, and offer no monetary support.......let her fend for herself......everything was fine until she met this younger her who aint shyt........she is a loser, and my younger sister is following in her footsteps.....I get so angry simply cuz.....my sister is not stupid......my theory is that she is trying to relive when she was 17-21.....sorry sweety.....you can't get a do over......that time has since been gone......you had children at an early age.....and now this what your life consist of......your children.....their health and well being....their education.....etc.....then you.......then all your corny stupid ass friends.......I have held my tongue on this matter simply cuz she is my sister, I love her......and I dont want to upset my mother......if she heard what I really want to say to her she would be very upset with me......very very upset......so I hold my tongue.....but I am planning on stopping by her house sometime this week to have a chat with her........and this time I am not holding my tongue......now dont get me wrong I am not going to disrespect her.....but I am gonna tell her the truth....even if it hurts her.....

so this weekend I had like no fun......my stomache was upset the whole weekend.....I felt guilty for not telling my mom asap......but I wanted to give my younger sister a chance to get it resolved on saturday......so by the time sunday rolled around.....she still hadn't told my mom......so I couldn't take it any more.......and I told her......now this made me feel better.....but I was still upset at how my younger sister acted over the weekend......

I feel worthless because I can't help me mom with my younger sister......dont get me wrong I have tried to help by talking to her......and letting her know that I am here for her......but she is so determine not to have anyone in her personal business that she lies.....and tells more lies to keep up with the original lie......it makes me so sick.......my best friend once told me that there is no future in frontin' so why front......and this is something that I have always try and teach her.......but I guess she really hasnt learned shyt from any of her mistakes.......anyways.....just needed to vent.......I love my mother and both of my sisters and their kids........they are the only women in my life that will always have me around to be a real man.......lol......they are all very important to me......so for my mom and younger sister to be going thru all this crap is hard and sometime I need to vent...before I get so filled with anger and rage I say or do something I will regret......

Thank you for letting me vent......I kinda feel better......

Update......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 21:22:59 GMT

The DATE......it went well, she is kool peoples.....a little to much alike.....but ok.......maybe going on another date.....but not to sure yet simply because I like femme girls......she not butch, but not femme either.....so there is some thinking I need to do.....not that I would lowering my standards at all, its just that I really, really, really......like femme girls......a femme girl is the kind of girl that I would like to marry in the future, so I dont know.....After that I went to chill with Baby......toked on some goods....
Didn't get the tattoo I wanted but that is coming soon.....probably this saturday I can get the outline of the dragon I want......but I did get a tattoo this weekend....and I will be posting a picture soon.....

Ok let me explain something.....I have three best friends....we are a clique.....its Josh, Me, Deli, and Baby....Deli and Baby are sisters....and Josh is their first cousin.....

So when I went to get my tattoo I invited Deli to come with me....and she did....well we went to get the dragon tattoo.....well the guy was booked til today.....so I had to make an appointment next saturday.....so with the tattoo itch still bothering me....she suggested the place were her other cousin Seni gets his.....and on the way I told her that I wanted a meaningful tattoo.....so we go.....and we are browsing....and she suggests that I should get a hot chick tattoo.....and she picked one out for me.....is hot wait til you see it.....anyways....the moral of the story is that I have told Baby, and Josh that they have to pick one for me too.....so now I will carry my friends were ever I go..... ; )

So that was saturday during the day......later that evening I went to Baby's crib to chill and watch some PRIDE fighting on Pay-per-view......so we are chillin.....and getting bored fast.....(rewind: she spends way to much time in the house....he really doesn't entertain her during the weekends and she is getting frustrated).....so she starts complaining....so I tell her off.....I told her you know I am single and have no children, so if you get bored and he is busy doing something call me we can go and get into something.....but no you must like complaining and moping......and some point they started agruing about it....and finally I told myself enough is enough....if I dont put my two cents matters are going to get worse and she will break up with him.....so I told him that he needs to take the initiative and take her out, without her having to tell him......he got kinda of upset about that.....well to make a pretty long story short.....we ended going to atlantic city like about 4am....and on the way there I was like Dr.Phil....lol....I guess what I said made him think about things, and he finally opened up about somethings, and got both of them on the same page for the first time in a very long time, I feel good that I helped my girl get some insight to her man.....they truly love each other, and after everything she has gone thru with him she is still there.....anyways they are good together....you would figure that I would want her to break up with him....but I would rather her be with him than anybody else......and besides I like him, he is a good man.....he just has alot of growing to do.....

anyways......next post will probably be a pic of my new tattoo.....holla back ya'll

Busy evening.......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 20:50:04 GMT

So today has been mad busy at work.....and its gonna get even busier this evening......I have a date....I hope it goes well.....will most definitely update later tonight or tomorrow. Holla back, ya'll

Things to come......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:20:03 GMT

Well theing at work have slowed down a bit.....everything looks good so far......and now I am in the process of planning vacation time....Things to come.....well I filed my taxes, and will be getting them probably by the end of this week. I will be saving most of it, so I can go to Miami for my best friends birthday weekend.....and to see my other best friend who lives in Ft. Lauderdale....anyways, before that.....I am going out March 3rd to Shampoo's, then she is having a party on the 9th.....then in June I was invited to come along on a bus trip to New York.....very excited about all things that I will be getting into....I am trying to do loads of things.......it has become so mundane to work, home, and save money......yeah....thats all good, but I need to release some of this tension I have.....you know the tension you get when its winter, and to cold to anything worth while......so I am trying get into gear, that wat when summer comes I am full throttle....anyways.....exciting things to come......

Manic Monday's.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 15:50:32 GMT

I really don't like monday's.........I am working half asleep.....ugh....wish I was home under my nice warm goose down comforter.....this weekend was like every other.....except I went to check out "Ghost Rider"......anyone who is into comics, do go see.....it was good, and the graphics were "HOT".....lol....

anyways.....nothing really else to post.....I need some excitement in my life right now......its has been so boring.....I did get an invite to Shampoo's, but that's not til March 3rd.....I heard its latin night, but they also play hip hop......so I will be there, then there is the party at my friends crib on the 9th.....besides that nothing.....

then in July me and my friends are taking a trip to visit FL......fun....maybe that's what I need a vacation, some where else besides in the tri-state area.....we'll see what happens.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:26:04 GMT

Hello everyone,

Yesterday was uneventful, beside my young boy asking if I could let him take a shower at the crib, because a water pipe busted in his crib.....and something was wrong with his car......so not only did he ask for a shower but also for a ride....wow....he owes me big....simply cuz the roads leading to my house have not been plowed, and are bad......after that we smoked some....and then I went home.....and spoke with baby for a little bit.....and I totally forgot to call her back.....

Anyways, right now I finishing up a project I have been working on for a month.....hopefully everything runs smoothly when it goes into production....later tonight.....I will probably go to the movies, that's if I can find someone to come with me.....if I don't then I might go out, and stop by sister's.....not sure thou, we'll see what happens later and how I feel.....

Yesterday, while picking up some windshield wipers I saw one of the most beautifulest girls I have seen in a long time....to bad she was with her man.....I would have kicked some game to her.....lol.....oh well

man this being single thing is making me want more than just physical encounters with girls.....ugh......

later........

leonis_v27@msn.com — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 13:36:49 GMT

UPDATE:

Last night....I search the entire house for it, and nothing.....I wanted to find it so bad, just so I wouldn't have to feel the way I am feeling right now about my uncle.....

I am so hurt....it feels as if someone reached into my chest and ripped something out......I feel pain everywhere, like I can't even breathe.....

My momi questioned him about it and he said and I quote..."don't look at me".

Sure, ok if it wasn't you then maybe one of those fuckin drug addict friends you bring to house when no one is home......and I quote..."no, I NEVER let anyone go upstairs.....ok fuck face....whate about when you are stoned out of you mind, don't you think maybe someone could sneak upstairs.....

whatever......he took it, and I know he took it.....

I really didn't get to let him have it, simply because of my mother.....she is already feeling guilty about it....and I don't want her to go thru anything else.....I am just so sick of this shyt it's not even funny.....last night I have to admit I had thoughts of ending this pain.....this pain that I feel deep inside my soul, sometimes is overwhelming.....its been along time since I felt this way......

Its not just him and the fact that he stole my shyt, it is also my younger sister, who is not doing what she needs to be doing.....she is not setting her priorities......she is lost....and she treats my mother like shyt.....I think I am having a nervous breakdown......since yesterday, I feel numb, I don't know how to feel...........I want to cry..........................................................

Sometimes........

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 19:20:43 GMT

I dont even know where to start....from the very start of my day, I knew today is going to be a day of truths.....let me start by saying that since monday, I have been suffering from a migraine headache.......it would go away then come back.....today is actually the first day I feel semi normal.....although my head feels groggy......so like every other morning, I use the bathroom, get my clothes ready.....and some other routines I go thru.....anyways, while checking my backpack for things I could throw out....I see I still have my digi camera I got for christmas is still in my bag.....so I decide that instead of taking it to work like I do every day.....I'd leave it home, so I search for the right place to put it, so that i won't collect to much dust.....in doing this I touch my PSP case (Playstation Portable) for those of you who dont know....and it felt lite....so I open it and to my surprise it wasnt in the case.....now I haven't opened it, and use it for about two weeks...and no one really comes to my house to hang out so I know it wasn't any of friends...or just someone who was in the house......ok maybe I took it out and left it somewhere in the house......highly unlikely thou.....so to get to the point, I think that My good for nothing drug addict uncle stole it......now before I actually take it there.....when I get home after work....I will be searching the whole house for it, and if I don't find it then....HE STOLE IT......and from this point on I will no longer tolerate him living in my mother's house......and I either deal with it, or I find a place.....which to be honest I am not financially ready for that.....but will do if nothing is done about this......I am not taking it anymore.....I love him....but he does not care for anybody, not even himself.....and I am sorry but I can no longer bite my tongue and act as thou nothing is happening......I meant shyt I have done that before....I have said I am not going to take it anymore, and then out of respect for my mom, and because of the way I was raised, I just never said anything....and now look it took for my very expense piece of electronics to get stolen to actually drive me to the point where I just dont care anymore........right now I am hoping and praying that I find it......but my heart is telling me that he is guilty......why.....i really dont F' in understand......I realy really dont......I wish I could disappear.....maybe the pain in my heart wouldnt be so bad.....this pain my heart that I feel.....I sometimes feel as thou my family is falling apart.....that my mother will soon disown all of us.....GOD PLEASE HELP ME........HELP ME......GIVE ME THE STRENGTH, AND THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS.......PLEASE I BEG YOU......

Finally....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 20:40:40 GMT

I finally got to setting up a myspace account....well here it is......http://www.myspace.com/paper_cut_lp

Hope is all I have.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:31:29 GMT

I keep hoping that I will meet that special someone....being butch really doesn't help either.....see where I am from there is a severe drought of femme girls who are into butches.....now I am 28, and the more time passes and I get closer to 30...I start to wonder if I will ever find that girl.....I just wanna find a femme woman who knows what she wants.....a femme woman who is grown, and not afraid to tell it like it is.....holds no punches....a femme woman who is both very intellectual, and silly at the same time....a femme girl who doesn't mind me being chauvinistic sometimes.....I have to admit I sometimes can be like that.....but I am also in touch with my feminine side......It just seems to me like that woman doesn't exsist.....or maybe they do....lately I have been feelin kinda upset about the situation....really upset was not the right word to use....I should have said frustrating.....

Sometimes I give thanks that I am single, and I don't have to deal with drama. But at the same time....I want some fly azz femme woman to be like this butch is mine, so step off.....now is this to much to ask for.....whatever.....I guess being alone is just something I will have to deal with living in HELLaware.......

Hope is all I have........

There are places I remember......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 16:11:06 GMT

Hello everyone.....

lately been feelin like writing in this journal is a waste....all the friends that I made over the past few years don't even post anymore....one of the main reasons why I decided to this is to make new friends....I have three best friends....and they are all straight.....I have no gay or lesbian friends....and sometimes this gets to me....its hard enough to find a girl, let alone a new FRIEND.....wow I really sound pathetic right now.....almost like I am feelin sorry for myself.....whatever....guess what...I will keep this journal until, I am an old lady in a nursing home asking about my MJ for my glaucoma....lol.....and will continue to post whatever I feel like saying......hahahaha.....lol......I guess you can say that right now, I am delirious from lack of sleep this whole week.....hopefully I won't fall asleep at my desk....well have shyt loads of work to do....so

til next time.....

Sure why not......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 00:47:55 GMT

GiRLFRiEND APPLiCATiON
- What is your current relationship status? Single…..and hoping to find my baby girl

- What's your name? Leonis….pronounce Le – o – nese….it’s Puerto Rican….but if you want you can call me Leo….lol

- Where do you live? Will you date girls who don't live there? Wilmington, DE….about 30 min from Philadelphia….depends

- How old're you? What's your sign? Do you follow astrology? 28, Virgo….all the way….yes

- How tall're you? 5’0

- How would you define your sexuality? I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!

- Do you label yourself, or don't you? (androgynous/butch/femme/soft butch/mtf/ftm/undefined) Butch

- Do you have a preference, or don't you? (androgynous/butch/femme/soft butch/mtf/ftm/unimportant) Femme

- Do you have a size perference, tell us what types of girls you like? I prefer girls who are curvy but not big….I myself am curvy but not big……I love femme girls

- Are you out? Yes, everyone knows

- What's something you just absolutely love in a relationship? Cuddling with my baby girl

- What's a pet peeve that you just can't put up with? Lying, Cheating, and Head Games….UGH

- Do you smoke? Do smokers bother you? Yes, No

- Do you drink? Do drinkers bother you? Yes, No

- Do you drug? Do druggers bother you? Yes, only Smokey Mcpot….no as long as its nothing hard core….I won’t deal with that

- What type(s) of music do you like? Everything from Hip Hop, Rock, Alternative, Punk, 80’s, Salsa, R&B….etc

- Which authors do you read, if any? I am not a reader, but I am into the Harry Potter books, I have read all of them, and can’t wait til the last is released

- Which television shows are a must-watch for you, if any? I watch many shows….most recently I have been into Heroes, I also like The 4400, Law & Order: SVU, CSI, Charmed and many others

- If you could live anywhere in this world, where would it be and why? The Coastal areas of Greece or Italy, its just something I have always wanted…..

- What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, sometimes mushrooms

- Describe your perfect weekend. A rainy weekend where me and my baby girl can stay in and cuddle, watch some movies, make out, and cook for each other

- Tell us your favorite scent? (You know the one that makes you weak in the knees!) Well anything girlie, light not to heavy…..

- Anything else you'd like to add? That is the way it is…..

- And then just leave us your contact information (aim, email, msn, myspace, etc.) and post a picture (if large, behind an lj-cut). leonis_v24@yahoo.com or leonis_v27@msn.com

another monday.....

leonis_v27@msn.com — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 15:59:50 GMT

Well, nothing exciting happened this weekend, just rented some movies, and sat at home under the goose down comforter.....and watched movies till I couldn't any more....lol...besides that I met someone....who I am very interested in....but we'll see what happens.....anyways....have something that I am working on here at work.....so

Till next time......

Holy Ice Balls......

leonis_v27@msn.com — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 14:06:36 GMT

OMG.....it is freezin outside today, our high is going to be something like 26 degrees.........UGH....well at least we didn't get much snow......just a dusting.......anyways, yesterday.....I ran some errands, then went to my peoples crib, and I hung out for a bit, and ate some dinner.....we are suppose to have dinner tomorrow too......we'll see what happens...last night I was thinking to myself....where the hell have all the femme girls gone.....why can't I seem to find one for myself.....frustrating, very, very, very frustrating.....

I will find one even if its the last thing I do in my life.....lol

leonis_v27@msn.com — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 16:37:48 GMT

Well, nothing really exciting going on in my life right now......work has been busy lately, and things are good.....someone broke into one of my step -dad's car and they took the radio, now mind this radio has one of those faces that come off so no one can steal it.....well this really stupid person smashed the small back window, and took the radio without the face....the face is actually in the house.....how stupid is that....whatever, sometimes I feel like I give to much credit to the human race.....sometimes I wonder about us......but I have to say that the majority of us are intelligent people....man this person is a frekin idiot.....anyways.....I got my invitation to a sex toy party my best friend is having in early march....its a pajama party too.....fun....fun....fun....loads of fun....now I think that I will have to do something before then....I mean I need to get this pent up energy out somehow....maybe I'll go out to a club this weekend....I don't know....I have been thinking about my relationship situation for awhile now and I can't seem to find a femme girl.....that is up to par with my standards....I thought about lowering them a bit....but then I thought to myself that, that wouldn't be smart of me to do.....whatever.....I mean I am not looking for a girl who is prefect, because there is no such thing.....but I am looking for a girl that can hold her own, ya know.....a girl who isn't afraid to be herself, and can hold down a serious conversation....someone who knows her shyt....I guess those types girls are non-existing.......

have work to get done......

til next time............................................... ^_^